Respect life must reads for October!

                                                          
                                                               PREGNANCY

                                                       
                                                           MISCARRIAGE

                                                               INFERTILITY

 

BREAST CANCER

 

PROLIFE/UNPLANNED PREGNANCY

 

 

The Cross of Infertiltiy

It has been a little over a month since my first entry and quite honestly it has been difficult to get going with this blog.  My mind has been full of thoughts. Should I do this? How much should I share? Will this help anyone?  So after some consideration and further discussion with my better half I decided to press forward!  My goal is to post monthly and we will see how it goes :)



Today I was sitting in Mass and listening to the gospel and the homily about the necessity of Christians embracing the cross and sharing in the suffering of Jesus. I remember growing up  whenever I would complain about minor inconveniences my mom would tell me to "offer it up."


Well I guess  I never really realized that the magnitude of the sufferings might change when I became an adult. When I was a kid I figured I was pretty close to sainthood when I  would graciously allow my sister to play with my Barbie.  So as an adult, I figured that waiting patiently for three whole minutes in line at Dunkin Donuts without rolling my eyes was an equivalent act of great sacrifice.


It turns out that Jesus expects you to sacrifice a little more than when you were seven. Jesus will sometimes ask you to pick up a pretty big cross and carry it. I know I could not carry this cross of infertility without Him . I also feel comforted by the fact that this suffering can be redemptive. 


I wish I could I say that I joyfully embrace this cross, but I am not there yet. I am still more of a reluctant cross carrier. I hold the cross up just a little and with my eyes upward say "ok so next month you are going to let me put this down and give me a baby right?"   So far His answer has been "not yet."


So I am going to take some great advice from my mom. She has always been a wise lady. I want to offer up this cross of infertility for all my sisters who are also struggling with infertility, have suffered a miscarriage or are experiencing a difficult pregnancy. 


With God's grace and your prayers I will "lift high the cross!"

Keeping the Faith

Nearly four years of negative pregnancy tests, a dual factor infertility diagnosis, and mounting medical expenses can cause great emotional distress. You find yourself calling everything into question. All kinds of thoughts start running through your head.

Did we do something to deserve this?

Why does God not want us to be parents? It is because we will not be good parents?

Maybe I deserve this because I didn't try harder to get pregnant earlier?

What if we never become parents? Does that mean that our marriage is incomplete?

I struggled with these and many more questions. I still struggle at times. But in the times I question God's fidelity to us, I remember one scripture verse.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

  God has already blessed Brian and I abundantly.  I know He will continue to bless us. He wants us to be happy and will never leave us alone during this time.   It is still difficult whenever a friend announces a pregnancy, but I remain hopeful because He is faithful.

  

It is because of this faith that I keep the spare room completely empty so I won't have to make room for baby when he/she comes.  It is because of this faith that Brian and I lay in bed at night sometimes and spend an hour debating baby names.

I don't know what His plans are for us, but I trust that we will one day have our little miracle.