Today I was sitting in Mass and listening to the gospel and the homily about the necessity of Christians embracing the cross and sharing in the suffering of Jesus. I remember growing up whenever I would complain about minor inconveniences my mom would tell me to "offer it up."
Well I guess I never really realized that the magnitude of the sufferings might change when I became an adult. When I was a kid I figured I was pretty close to sainthood when I would graciously allow my sister to play with my Barbie. So as an adult, I figured that waiting patiently for three whole minutes in line at Dunkin Donuts without rolling my eyes was an equivalent act of great sacrifice.
It turns out that Jesus expects you to sacrifice a little more than when you were seven. Jesus will sometimes ask you to pick up a pretty big cross and carry it. I know I could not carry this cross of infertility without Him . I also feel comforted by the fact that this suffering can be redemptive.
I wish I could I say that I joyfully embrace this cross, but I am not there yet. I am still more of a reluctant cross carrier. I hold the cross up just a little and with my eyes upward say "ok so next month you are going to let me put this down and give me a baby right?" So far His answer has been "not yet."
So I am going to take some great advice from my mom. She has always been a wise lady. I want to offer up this cross of infertility for all my sisters who are also struggling with infertility, have suffered a miscarriage or are experiencing a difficult pregnancy.
With God's grace and your prayers I will "lift high the cross!"
